League Sources, Anonymous Leaders, and a Tsunami of Nonsense

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The OBR Newswire is a beacon of sanity in a world of absurdity. (Photo: Photo by L.Filipe C.Sousa on Unsplash)

Hello Cleveland Browns fans!

It’s a big day because Boxing Day is always filled with Browns news and interesting treats with… wait, no, what’s the opposite? This is, I suppose, the tidal wave of non-news we encounter today, with very few original stories, but a massive tsunami of pure crap from the class of news media scavengers recycling two” very dubious” stories from yesterday (Example 1) (Example 2). I collected dozens of these rehashes and deleted them all. Life is too short.

Bah. That’s not how I wanted to wake up this morning, waving a hand dismissively at the nonsense I encounter in my feed reader.

Meanwhile, The Athletic’s Mike Sando lets us know that there’s one NFL executive angry at the Browns’ guaranteed contract with DeShaun Watson:

“It was a Flying J move,” the exec said, referring to Haslam’s company. “Anyone who worked under him for any length of time will tell you that Flying J (Haslam) is one of the most impulsive guys you’ve ever met.”

Ouch. That’s not a good morning thing. There’s a lot more tearing up of the Browns’ move to bring Watson in here if you like to hear anonymous NFL executives give the Browns a hard time.

Beyond that, the ABJ examines the impact DT Perrion Winfrey could have on the Browns, and there are a number of reports answering yesterday’s questions. I filtered out the nonsense for you. That’s what I do while drinking coffee and grumbling.

Thank God you really have me. I render an indispensable service every morning as soon as I wake up. I deserve a statue outside of FES for that, serving as a beacon of sanity amid the sports media tornado. There might be a plaque that says: “FAT GUY WRITES INSTANTLY DISPOSABLE NEWSWIRE”. It would be me hovering over a computer with a cup of coffee and a bad attitude first thing in the morning. Then you could throw empty beer cups at him after the game. Everyone wins. I get the immortality I seek, you get something to throw beer mugs at.

Where’s that guy from the 0-16 parade? We have to make that happen.


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